this is not something i wrote, but hey haven’t found a more entertaining explanation

Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in LA.

In order to increase sales, she decides to allow her loyal customers – most of whom are unemployed alcoholics – to drink now, but pay later.

She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby, granting the drunks loans).

Word gets around and as a result, a large numbers of drunks (read: customers) flood into Heidi’s bar.

Taking advantage of extending liberal credit facilities to her customers, Heidi increases prices of wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volumes increase rapidly.

A young and dynamic Customer Service Consultant of the local Investment Bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets (being receivables) and increases Heidi’s borrowing limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts (receivables) of the alcoholics as collateral.

At the Bank’s Corporate Headquarters, expert Investment Bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed. Nevertheless, as their prices climb continuously, the securities become top-sellers.

One day, although the prices are still climbing, a (spoilsport) Risk Manager of the bank (subsequently of course fired, due to his negativity) decides that slowly the time has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drunks at Heidi’s bar.

However they cannot pay back the debts.

Facing high borrowing costs, poor cash flow and ‘nil’ repayment capability, Heidi cannot fulfil her loan obligations and files for bankruptcy.

DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in price by 95%. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by 80%.

The suppliers to Heidi’s bar, having granted her extended credit facilities, and having invested in the securities too, are faced with a credit crunch.

With liquidity being restrictive, and at hard terms, making it difficult to raise money to keep afloat, her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, and her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor through a share-swap deal (that did not involve any cash transaction).

The cash strapped Investment Bank on the verge of collapse, is saved by a Government bailout (can also be read as ‘Obama stimulus package’) following dramatic round-the-clock parleys between leaders of political parties and the corporate elite. To give a fillip to the faltering economy, they reasoned…..

The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied on the non-drinkers.

Cheers !

Technosexual?? wat the hell does that mean?

I was featured on a Time of India story about gadget friendly people and they tagged it techosexual, funny names that the media comes up with )

And yea thts me in the photo in page3…. amusing!

I have been using smart phones for quite sometime now and i must say that they are fantastic pieces of technology. With a smartphone you can do all the things that a previous generation computer could do..well almost.

The best part of using a smart phone is that these run of platforms like Symbian, Microsoft,Andriod etc., and have many independent software vendors writing nifty apps for them.

But to truly harness its power you would need a unlimited data connection, in India, if you subscribe to the blackberry service (cost- 1100 INR/month mark), you would get that thrown in.

My top 5 must have apps for my e61i are

1. Fring

http://www.fring.com/

Fring is a really cool app which lets you logon to all the messenger services like gtalk,Yahoo,Skype, etc., you can also use it to place skype calls. This thing does have a twitter integration, but its treated like a chat window, i didnt like the twitter integration much.

But oveerall a great app to chat when on the move, which is primarily what i use it for.

2. Gmail 2.0

http://www.google.com/mobile/default/mail/

in version 1.0 you couldn’t search mails properly, all that is fixed now and with this release, you can do pretty much everything that you would on a desktop. I still have to remember email addresses unlike in the desktop client, but i am not complaining.

3. emtube

http://www.schierwagen.de/blog/support/

I really really hate waiting and the best time pass is to watch some Youtube videos, now you can do that one your mobile as well. Emtube is THE best Youtube client out there — oh yea its better than Youtube’s own implementation. The video plays without a stutter, you can search for videos….pretty much does what you expect it to do without a flaw.

4.Twibble.

http://www.twibble.de/

Works as advertised! if you extensively use twitter then this is a must have…it seems to have a location aware tweet posting thingie, i haven’t been able to test that coz my phone doesn’t have GPS.

5. Google MAPS

It does seem kinda strange, but looking at satellite shots of our office and home rooftops seem to provide us with hours of entertainment.

Best part is even if you do not have a GPS, Gmaps will tell you your location with a blinking blue dot.

And yes, all these apps are all FREE!

Disclaimer – I am talking about the Indian landscape here.

The one question that any entrepreneur looking at raising outside capital asks himself/herself is “when do i approach investors?” Tonnes and tonnes of material has already been written about this.

Why don’t Investors invest in my plan?  What should i be prepared with? what is expected of my company?

The answer to all these questions is to Time the investment so you can be prepared for it.

1. Do Venture investors invest in Business Plans? ….NO!!

Not unless you were an integral part of some wildly successful firm and have a track record to flaunt.  If someone says otherwise, I’d like to meet them

2. I have a prototype ready, is now a good time?…hmmm., Maybe

Depends on how much money is required to convert the prototype into a business and more importantly the market opportunity for the business, for instance if the venture requires 5 Million Dollars to be a Business, but can be next best thing to sliced bread….well people might take their chances.

So is there a right time?

Basically Early stage investing is an art rather than a science and there are no hard and fast rules.But what entrepreneurs CAN do is try to address the concerns of an early Investors.

And there is primarily one main concern…”Will this Business deliver on its promise???”

Now how can you address that?

There are a few things

1. Have some semblance of a product/service ready.

Early stage investors do not expect you to have a uber cool product that rivals the best in the market, heck if you had that, you wouldn’t be looking at investments in the first place. But a product/service that actually performs what its supposed to do, can go a long way in addressing concerns.

Seeing is believing, and Investors need to see what your product/service is today to visualize what it can become.

2. Get some customers

You have customers? they paid for it and they are happy? wow!! that conveys, oh yea!…there is a market for this, in other words, thats market validation.

Remember that everyone sees the world differently, things that you see as no-brainers might seem strange to me. Do not expect Investors to understand your business. It is your job to make them understand it, and nothing can convey it quite as much as customers using your product/service.

If you do have these, most times, Investors will return your call and you will land that meeting.

Finally our search for uninterrupted broadband @ Pellucid Networks, ended with us getting Reliance WiMax.

Oh yea…we do have WiMax technology being implemented in our city now. The installation was a breeze, we paid 500 rupees towards the instillation charges, the next day, couple of guys came to our office and installed the antenna.

This is what it looks like

The ethernet connection from the antenna goes on to the modem. Thats about it.

We have been using this for the last couple of days and i must say that the connection is pretty good, no drops so far and consistent speeds. In short behaves like it should.

We have opted in for a 1 Mbps Business connection. That is 4500 Rupees a month.  As of now, i am a very happy customer! yayy

Ok. Tata indicom sucks and Airtel is not available, so i am looking for other options, someone says look at BSNL so i did.

and this is what i find.

The site could do with a redesign. Finding information here is sooooo difficult. Anyone listening?

Ok, finally after 7 mins, located what i am looking for.

their minimum for an unlimited Biz plan is 9000 INR/month??!?

bahhhhh! are they stuck in the stone age of internet??

No…i am not kidding, i swear this is how it is on the website!

Why is Tata’s broadband service so bad?

Recently got a Tata indicom commercial broadband for my new office @ Pellucid Networks in Chennai, I have always thought that Tata had a reputation for reliability, this brand perception of Tata has taken a beating in my eyes with my experience with the connection.

The connection drops like crazy and when i try reaching their customer care, which by itself is a herculean task, their executive has the gall to say “Sir, in this area, it is like this only”

I am writing this, in one of those shifting time spots that i do get Internet.

Unfortunately Airtel is not available in our area (Thiruvanmayur), so i am going to check out Reliance’s WiMAX technology. hope i wont have too much probs with that. And its Ta-Ta to Tata for me now.

PS – The connection dropped 6 times when posting this.

Or Death And All His Friends

I have always been a rock fan and Coldplay has been one of those bands that i used to listen to in those deeply introspective moods much like U2, but Coldplay has always been more more non threating  and conventional.

I took a break from following rock music, what with all the hip hop playing in all the places that i visit. Recently i decided to check the scene and the latest i got my hands on was Coldplay’s new album Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends.

And i should say that it is pretty darn good. I feel older and wiser after these years and so does Coldplay. With hits like Viva la Vida and Violet hill, Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends is an exhilarating album, and a No. 1 in 30 countries. and a huge hit in the US for the British band.

I love the album, Coldplay rocks!!! Go buy this one.

With the launch of the Yamaha R15 in india, Yamaha can go back to being the king of the hill of performace biking in India — think RD350 and RX100 not Alba and Crux.

According to Yamaha motors, the bike is supposed to have the same DNA as the much reviered R1 & R6

“The designs were developed in the same modeling room where YZF-R1 designers worked. Information was shared, ensuring that the R lineage would be transmitted. In addition, the model also incorporates a multitude of adjustments for the Indian market including seat shape that allows for tandem riding (integrated with the main seat), tandem grips that are easy to grip and also contribute to the supersport design, and a riding position that takes into account comfort, etc. In other words, the YZF-R15 is characterized by a hybrid design that combines the world-class design of the “R” series with localized functions. The YZF-R15 was created to lead the supersport category in India. “

All i can say is, about time!! welcome back Yamaha!!

funny line, but then its not my comment, rather Lal Kishen Advani, the leader of the Indian opposition said that today. I am having great fun watching all the news channels going back and forth, and the million dollar question. “will the govt hold or will it not?”

For all the rhetoric and principles, its finally breaking down into a game of numbers and how openly!

The best analysis of the numbers is here.

*courtesy rediff

The Nuclear Deal has made every political party seem like the wheeling dealing camp that it truly is, and as a citizen of India for the past 25 years all i can do is watch in amusement.

My view?

I think that the govt will hold and i am rather happy to see the left go from the govt. I have never been a fan of the commies who have been enjoying power without the any of its responsibilities.

Not that i am a congress supporter, but the main allegations of the opposition and the left

1. UPA has not been able to tackle inflation.

Well the govt weighed down by the left has not exactly been a shining light for policies leading to a strong economy, (the congress by itslef sounds more and more like a socialist party with each passing day) , but then, the current bout of inflation is caused by a variety of forces like the price of oil+ higher integration with the global economy, the real estate market hitting a correction etc., and is not exactly the congress’s creation.

more importantly

2. The deal makes India a subordinate of the US.

India i believe is a very strong country today, both militarly and economically to be sub servient to any other nation. Does this deal put India as an ally of the US? Maybe, but being an ally of the US is not exactly a bad thing. And India is today in a position to craft its foreign policy based on the new world order and the way it chooses fit.

Am i for the Nuclear Deal? overwhelmingly yes.

Do i “want” the congress to remain in power?? I really dont care.

i am tempted to write “that sums up the current generations disillusionment with the political class”